Attention Amazon shoppers: It’s Coach Prime Day!

Keep your eyes on the Prime!

Keep your eyes on the Prime!
Photo: Getty Images

Welcome to Coach Prime Day (patent pending) where everything is for sale. Tablets, air fryers, backpacks, integrity, you name it, Coach Prime will endorse it. (No idea if Deion Sanders signed off to endorse this advertorial, but we should probably run it by legal before we get a cease, and desist from Coach Prime, Campbell, & Clarke.)

In honor of America’s obsession with material objects, Coach Prime and Prime Day, I’ve been tasked with hawking (portions of my soul) for Jeff Bezos, and all the other insatiable capitalists over at Amazon.

So let’s get this over with before my consciousness catches up with my brain, and I leap in front of the El.



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